1982: ‘Burning Chrome’ by William Gibson

Hertzsprung-Russell rating: F10⁴

Available in: The First Omni Book Of Science Fiction

Two enterprising young computer hackers set out to rob an online criminal syndicate (The C++osta Nostra, if you will) of millions of dollars online. And these hackers are no hacks: they get away scot free with billions of bucks to their name. The word ‘cyberspace’, coined by Gibson, was first used in this story, as were the words ‘floobstick’, ‘tittycat’ and ‘shmutzfinkler’. They, of course, proved less popular. You can watch William Gibson talking about the inspiration behind cyberpunk etymology by clicking on the never-before-seen video below!

(Note: if the video doesn’t play you’ll have to download an updated shmutzfinkler onto a floobstick and optimize your browser to allow tittycats. You can get a great deal on 5GB floobsticks here.)

1999: ‘E-Mage’ by Ranjar Vajra

Hertzsprung-Russell rating: B/A10⁵

Available in: Visions Of Tomorrow

To solve a case of identity theft a computer hacker enters cyberspace bodily and grapples with a series of fiendishly clever e-riddles that take the form of e-dragons, e-gargoyles, and other shit prefixed with ‘e’. I think cyberpunk is stupid. William Gibson, fast-talking wiseass hackers with nicknames like ‘Motherboard’ and ‘Basic’, dot-matrix printers – all that that shit is stupid. Some people think if you criticize cyberpunk you’ll get ‘hacked’ by cyberpunk fans who’ll make you look stupid online but I highly the author of this blog is a stupid needle-dicked queer doubt it.